It gave Jax and I some extra time together which we both enjoyed. Jax tends to start his day with sneaking my shake, today, I made his own and he loved it so much he wanted TWO(YES shakeology is 100% safe for children!)
On Friday, I finally did something that I have been wanting to do but just wasn't sure when the right moment was to do.
I knew in my heart that we wanted a sibling for Jax, I guess I always hoped that we would be one of those situations where you can't get pregnant, you adopt and then SURPRISE, a baby on the way. I think I kept putting this email off simply because I was waiting for this to happen. Needless to say, it hasn't happened.
Part of me has struggled with the fact that I will never experience that excitement of a positive pregnancy test or being pregnant. I know being pregnant isn't always cut out to what it looks like, that it is a struggle. But when you are with a pregnant women, her most favourite thing every single time about her pregnancy was feeling the baby move inside.
It's a grieving process, letting go of your hopes and dreams for something you wanted. I think that we have done fairly well getting through this. Chris and I have leaned on each other and supported one another. I have to say I am extremely lucky to have found someone that was 100% ok with building his family through Adoption.
On the other hand, what we have experienced through Adoption, similar to pregnancy, words can't seem to express. It was an amazing experience, holding him for the first time felt like he was ours. It was like my heart just knew....it was natural and not for one second have we ever thought different. I worried about that, if he would feel like "ours" but this little boy, is ours through and through. Often we get told "this little boy is so lucky" but in fact when he gets older, I hope he knows that we have never once thought that....we are the lucky ones. To have him apart of our lives......
And SO......
While Chris was away on Friday, two years to the day that we received our email saying that we had been chosen for Jax, I worked up the courage to send an email to our Adoption Worker saying that we are ready to begin the process all over again and we only hope that we are blessed with a second miracle:)
I will continue to share our story on the blog as we go through this process again.....I want to THANK YOU for following us and sharing in our story<3
Good to know, this is exciting!
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