Understanding Her

This week(Jax's birthday) brings a whirl wind of emotions for me. I was distracted all of last weekend attending a Beachbody event in Nashville that it really didn't hit me until I woke up Tuesday morning. Jax's birthday was the very next day and the events of these two days will always be fresh in my mind.

Often when I get questions about his adoption a lot of people make a comment "how could someone do that? I could never"

This comment is completely understandable...I get that most people wouldn't give their child up for adoption willingly. Most circumstances that involve adoption are around the child being removed from the home but in our case, birthmother made a decision and life plan for her unborn child.

Our situation is unique.....birthmom didn't want to meet us once she chose us based on our profile picture book that she viewed, simply because she wanted to be practical v.s emotional, we fully respect that.

When we arrived at the hospital once we had word that Jax had been born, we actually walked right past her room. We knew it was her room simply because there was a note taped to the outside door asking no one to enter due to special circumstances.

We carried on down the hall way into a nursery where we walked by a baby laying in an Incubator. I KNEW in my heart that that was my baby. Sure enough, they brought him into us and placed him into our arms. We were both a mess, the moment we had waited for for SUCH a long time was finally happening. As the night went on and we were soaking up every second with Jax, the thought in the back of my mind wouldn't go away.

How was she feeling? Was she ok?

I wanted nothing more than to walk into that room and thank her from the bottom of our hearts. Thank her for giving us something that would not be possible without her. Still to this day, I would love nothing more than to thank her because since that very moment he was placed in my arms, I have found who I am.

Her decision came from a point of selflessness, she knew that at this point in her life she was not able to provide this child with the proper care and attention that he needed. She made a plan for him and selected the best possible options for him, she did this out of endless love for him.

I will forever have a special place in my heart for her and I will always wonder how she is doing but as we celebrate his second birthday this week we will continue to try and be the best parents we can be to him and provide him with the best possible life<3

xoxoxo